Holiday Travel

I don't know how many flights I've taken over the past year let alone in my career.

Suffice to say it's a lot.

I can't recall the sort of travel misery I encountered over the this Christmas period.

Ever.

It started at JFK when all the UK flights were cancelled.

Chaos reigned and I remember thinking " Man the US has turned into a third world country".

Little did I know far worse was yet to come.

I was rerouted through Paris, and it was only when I arrived in CDG that I was to experience the true meaning of incompetence and airline/airport staff disdain.

Bags lost, I spent 3 days trying to get out of Paris.

10,000 misplaced bags and no plan in place to sort it out.

Air France staff incapable of telling the truth.

Why don't people say " I don't know?" instead of " The bags are being delivered to your hotel"?

The knowing smile of the next person I talked to but paid to that hopeful fiction.

I arrived in Paris on December 21st.

I made it to Ireland on December 24th.

Who knows where my bags are?

I hear Heathrow was even worse.

Its pretty bad when stranded passengers have to rely on the Salvation Army to provide water and hot drinks because a Billion $ corporation like The British Airport Authority doesn't see fit to take care of its customers.

Or am I being unreasonable?

I hope your holidays were a little less fraught.

I wish you all a happy and peaceful New Year.

T

Terminal 5 opened today at Heathrow. A £4.3 Billion Farce

The BAA Farce continues.
The message is clear:
Don't fly British Airways.
Don't fly into or out of Heathrow.
Thank god you don't live in the UK or need to fly in or out of London.
Imagine going on a long haul flight, arriving at the airport and being told "hand luggage only"
The £28 million luggage system, despite months of testing doesn't work.
The misery continues.

The Brits couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.

By Sky News SkyNews - 22 minutes ago
'Gateway To Britain' Loose At The Hinges'
British Airways has announced that almost all departures from Heathrow's new Terminal 5 for the remainder of the day are limited to those passengers with hand luggage only.
It follows a day of major disruptions at the much-heralded terminal, dubbed the "Gateway to Britain" by Her Majesty the Queen at its recent unveiling.
35 outgoing and 28 incoming flights have been cancelled and all baggage check-in suspended during a day of chaos.
British Airways Director of Operations Gareth Kirkwood apologised in a statement for the "short term difficulties" and announced that those with more luggage could seek a refund for their planned flights.
Sky sources believe hold luggage has been allowed on some long haul flights as BA attempt to resolve the travel trouble.
Passengers unable to travel have been asked to find their own hotels, with some reporting they have been given a promise of full compensation from the airline.
Earlier, the Department of Transport said it "expects BA and BAA to work hard to resolve these issues and limit disruption to passengers."
Broken backage belts, halted lifts and grounded planes due to unexplained "problems" have made a mockery of BA promises of a "seamless and updated" flying experience at T5, said to be queue- and hassle-free.
Passengers have also expressed anger at the handling of the problems on the ground as staff struggled to communicate or cope with the demands of the £4.3bn building.
Sky News reporter Katie Stallard said: "It is rapidly becoming a pretty shambolic situation.
"Baggage belts have broken and passengers are now being asked to manually check-in in their bags."

I HATE HEATHROW.

This is what happens when you give a private company a monopoly.

Thank God I fly out of Luton on Saturday (one of the few non-BAA airports in the UK.)

T

Fortress Britain=Travel Chaos Ahead

British airports are already the worst in the world for delays and restrictions.

The much hated "one bag rule" has led to lost luggage and huge lines.

Airports in the UK are privately operated and this has led to cost cutting and maximizing profit.

This profit motive results in 3 of 18 security stations operating on a given day and queues winding through the terminal.

There is no incentive to resource passenger screening regardless of the traffic.

If you walked into your local supermarket and the lineups at the checkout stretch to the back of the store, you'd turn on your heel and go to the store down the road.

Management makes sure this doesn't happen by keeping staffing levels high and opening new checkouts as traffic rises.

Private enterprise breeds competition, better service and increased efficiency.

This principle doesn't apply to airports.

The one you're at is the only game in town.

There is no competition.

Heathrow is building, building, building.

The problem is they're concentrating on "enhanced retail space".

Its important to keep you shopping as its likely you'll be spending hour upon hour of your life whilst stuck in the terminal.

Privatising airports has brought none of the benefits of the private sector and exposed all of the negatives associated with the profit motive.

The present situation is intolerable.

Its about to get a lot worse.

The government recently unveiled plans to gather up to 53 pieces of information from each and every traveler BEFORE they travel.

For every journey, security officials will want credit card details, holiday contact numbers, travel plans, email addresses, car numbers and even any previous missed flights.
All of this information will be held in a vast new database dubbed the "e-borders" system by the government
Critics warned of mayhem at ports and airports when the system is introduced, beginning in earnest from mid-2009.
By 2014 every one of the predicted 305million passenger journeys in and out of the UK will be logged, with details stored about the passenger on every trip.
The scheme will apply to every way of leaving the country, whether by ferry, plane, or small aircraft. It would apply to a family having a day out in France by Eurotunnel, and even to a yachtsman leaving British waters during the day and returning to shore.
The measure applies equally to UK residents going abroad and foreigners travelling here.
The information will be stored for as long as the authorities believe it is useful, allowing them to build a complete picture of where a person has been over their lifetime, how they paid and the contact numbers of who they stayed with.Anybody about whom the authorities are dubious can be turned away when they arrive at the airport or station with their baggage.
Those with outstanding court fines, such as a speeding penalty, could also be barred from leaving the country, even if they pose no security risk.
(Daily Mail 20 Nov. 2007)
You can bet your life there will be new charges to cover the costs of all this.
Big brother and bureaucratic chaos will find a loving embrace at the UK's airports in the future.
I can honestly say that I travel for a living.
The vision of hell outlined above means, if I'm still in this game in 2009, I'll do something else.
British Airports are already the worst in the western world.
Now they're going to sink even lower.
The emperor is not wearing a stitch of clothing.
Hope this brightened your day!
T

Delays, and random airport observations

It's becoming an increasingly familiar part of my life to be sitting around and airport waiting for a flight which may or may not depart.
Over the past month I've had no fewer than 8 flights delayed by 2 hours or more.
Its become the norm.
Added to that is the atrocious state of British airports , the seemingly arbitrary security rules (only British airports restrict you to one piece of hand luggage and they mean ONE piece), undermanned screening and passport controls and it all adds up to a tedious, frustrating ordeal.
Airports are odd places.
Only in an airport do you see tattooed hooligans lined up in duty free to sniff the latest creation of some gay icon of the fashion world.
If ever you doubted that Haute couture is just a clever marketing platform for perfume and cologne, you've never seen the madness which takes over the hordes as they spend $100 on sculpted bottles of man scent in Duty Free.
Skin creams, the con of the modern age, also do brisk business.
I wonder what percentage of their overall sales are accounted for by duty free?
People who wouldn't give this crap a passing glance "landside" are drawn like magnets to lay down their holiday money for snakeoil.
I never realised that soap and perfume were the objects of crippling import taxes in all countries in the world..... they must be as they always have pride of place in the Duty Free shops.
It's interesting that the average cost of this stuff is more than the average cost of a Ryanair ticket.
" Fly to France for 10 pounds and spend 150 in Duty free"
Lemmings.
Another question I have is who buys the $1000 watches?
It may be duty free when you buy it but it won't be when you come home.
There is also the issue of perceived value.
Sure the carton of ciggies is only 22 quid at Heathrow but he same ciggies are 10 quid in Dubai duty free.
The same ciggies.
Both places are duty free.
Its just that at Heathrow they mark up the base price ( double) and soak you.
You buy the stuff, whether it be designer ties, a bottle of whisky or a video camera, because you're trapped in an airport with nothing to do.
My advice is if you desperately need to pick up a little something, do it on the plane.
The prices are always about 20% cheaper.
The other thing about airports I find odd is the magical ability they have to make people knock back the booze.
People, who wouldn't dream of cracking a beer during the day normally, are happily downing pints at 10 am.
"Its the start/middle/end of my holiday....I'm in an airport so its OK.
Strange mass hysteria.
Rant over.
Love to all
T

Bombay calling

I arrived in Bombay at 1 am last night and emerged into the stifling heat at roughly 2. Madness and chaos and no pickup. The smells and noise can't be described, but tired as I was the place has an effect not unlike a mega-caffeine cup of coffee.
Too much coffee can send me to the toilet but as I was to find upon retreating back into the terminal, toilet paper was in short supply.

I'm not squeamish so business was done, and bits were washed.

Finally I met up with my ride and I was off into the night.

Not many pics as I had to get up at 5:30 and fly to Pune this morning. I forgot my camera but from what I've seen of Mumbai, there's plenty of pictures to come.

One scary note:

On the bus from the plane to the terminal we hit a stray dog. There are isolated groups of them wandering the tarmac.

Yikes.
Still, I gotta tell ya......

This place gives me a high octane buzz.
More to come over the coming days so stay tuned!
Love to all
Stay healthy!
T

Airport ramblings and strange breakfast food

As usual I find myself stuck in an airport (Seoul) with time on my hands. The one time I gave myself extra time to get get checked in there was no traffic and no crowds to slow me up. Though there are worse places to be than Incheon "International Hub of the Year" (all the airports in Asia lay claim to some accolade or another), I've walked around for an hour and had my fill of looking at $300 bottles of whisky, and hideous $150 ties.
I did have my first Turkish ice cream cone "Made with Real Goat's Milk" so I guess it hasn't been a total bust.

The Marriott in Seoul features a massive breakfast buffet. Asian hotels err on the side of overkill in these sorts of things, but the Marriott holds the blue ribbon in my books. Besides the usual eggs/bacon/sausage/toast, it features chefs making bespoke omelets and a variety of odd, Asian breakfasty "stuff" as well as the Korean take on what should be on the western brekkie menu:
Not really sure what the above is, but it was fishy and extremely spicy. It woke up my mouth, which I guess its supposed to do.

You just have to love a breakfast buffet which includes ice cream and cookies.

I had both, along with samples of all of the above.

All for the reasonable price of $32.

The staff at the Marriott got extremely agitated with my photos. They were afraid I was working undercover as an agent of the evil Hyatt empire I guess.

Losing the breakfast buffet edge is a serious business in the cut throat world of hotel catering.

This "What I had for Breakfast Post " shows you how airports can mess with your mind.

I need a smoke (you can still do that in Asian airports).

Hope everyone is healthy and happy

T

Dubai Airport at 2am

24 hours of travel....and counting

Another airport, another airport lounge with stale sandwiches and mini cans of coke, but no ice. Warm coke is not good.
Drinking any form of alcohol will kick my ass.
Nowhere to have a ciggie.
Next stop Dubai. I arrive at 3 am and it will be like rush hour anywhere else. I'll try and take a picture to give you an idea of how surreal it all is.

Next post from the Gulf


T

High winds= 3 hour delay

The departure board is a sea of red and the Argentinean tourists are getting mighty annoyed. There is a flamboyant beauty to the gesturing Argentinean woman smoking a cigarette with an irritated urgency whilst a stream of angry Spanish is poured down the mobile balanced stylishly in the palm of a perfectly manicured hand.

I really can't worry about this anymore. The plane will leave when it leaves. I fear though, that my bed in Cambridge is shrinking away into the small hours of tomorrow morning.

The food at this airport is pretty dire , but its the only game in town, so I've been picking away at the funny tasting fish-paste sandwiches.

Maybe I'll walk through dutyfree again and slap on some more "age rescue" firming cream....or add to the increasingly exotic combo of smells already wafting around me as I spray on more and more ofthe obscure brands of South American cologne.

Its all rather fun in a punch-drunk melancholy sort of way. The 10 euro an hour wireless access is a bit much though.

Ok

I think its time to go to the bathroom and look at the syringe exchange box again .

Then I'll go to the smoking room from hell and puff away amongst a babbling crowd of wild gestures and studied, stylish indifference .

I may just stay right here. I wonder how many days or months worth of hours I accumulated over the years stranded in airports?

Hope the weather is fine wherever you are

T

Madrid Airport

I'm here.
I'm dead tired
I'm ready to go home.

I got into Madrid at 10:30 last night after a train tour around the Netherlands which started at 6am.
As is always the way, I went to dinner and ate about a pound of red meat at midnight.
I ended up with the worst heartburn of my life and did not sleep for more than 15 minutes at a time.
I was having one of those "Christ its 4:30 am and I've not slept, and I'm getting up in two hours" moments all night long.
I started to seriously wonder if I was having a heart attack, or something. You get that way when you're tired and alone and sick in a hotel room far from home.....or having a heart attack.
I was absolutely shattered all day and still am. The dark circles under my eyes are growing bigger and moon-like.
I get into the UK at 12 midnight and then face a two hour drive home.
I need to slow down
Or I'm going to die
soon
With that cheerful thought,
Ciao!
T

Dubai airport at 5:25 am

Here again.
As always the airport is heaving at an ungodly hour. The flight from Osaka was a, bumpy 11 hours. I didn't eat, tried to sleep and ended up talking to the stewardess from Kenya for a couple of hours. Its strange the way Emirates imports these people from all over the world. They all live in accomodation, work killer hours tax free for 3 years , then head home to study or whatever with a bank account full of cash.
Tough job though.
I have a 4 hour layover here, then 8 hours back to the UK ...and a 2 hour drive to Cambridge. I should finally darken my door at roughly 5 pm.

These layovers are dangerous for the wallet. The temptation to buy all manner of crap can be overwhelming if only to relieve the boredom. Duty free is cheap here though I think I'll pass on the $50K Rolex.
Blah, blah, blah....Can you tell I'm bored?

Ok enough
Hope all is well wherever you are.
T

Couple more things......

There are about a dozen Japanese guys drinking Guiness mixed with tomato juice.
There are a handful of others drinking beer and vodka and spirits of all kinds.
Its noon somewhere in the world I guess.
England is out of the world cup. So is Brazil.
Its only a game guys.
Get over it.
T

Amsterdam airport 5:30 am

Survived a 12 hour flight and find myself yet again in AMS airport. Its interesting sitting in the KLM lounge watching people engage in a freebie feeding frenzy. Horrible little stale sandwiches being scoffed and fought over by bleary eyed folks in transit.
I have 3 hours and need to unwind the now familiar knot sitting at the base of my neck.
I managed to snag a few pics in Bangkok yesterday. Not the usual temple shots, but the view from a long tail boat. Having all of 2 hours to look around, I figured a river eye view may be the best use of time. When I get home I'll post them once photoshop has worked its magic.

I hope all of you are sleeping snug and happy in your own beds (or if you're lucky, in someone elses!)

T

Airport Lunch

Yum. Gave it a miss, and lived to tell the tale

Delayed in Beijing airport

Hour three of my delay and Air China has thoughtfully provided me with this lovely box of chow. Its lukewarm, scary mystery meat quality is tempting, but I believe I would be in serious trouble a couple of hours from now if I give in to my hunger. I have to catch a connecting flight in Australia from Hong Kong, and as the hours pass, this is increasingly looking unlikely. Wish me luck!
I can't seem to load the box lunch picture....I'll try at a later date
8:45 pm May 1st- Sydney time
After a mad dash through Hong Kong airport at 1 am, I made my Melbourne flight, but only after dodging around a group of livid Italian tourists at the transit desk. Being a prick and pushing my way through was the only option. I spent 5 hours in Melbourne then got a flight to Sydney after, long soul destroying meetings. Here I am in Sydney, a little unstable on my feet, but off to yet another dinner.

T

Darling Harbour Sydney.

On the way to Taipei

Freaky posting from the airport in Seoul. All of the headings are in Korean script, so the only english on this screen is what I'm typing Really strange.
Not much to report other than many of the things remembered about Seoul, still ring true.

• It's an ugly place. Lots of concrete and traffic but the streets are clean
• Its pretty pricey. There is a 21% tax on all things booze. Japanese prices prevail.
• There are tons of Japanese and American looking cars...the models look pretty familiar, but they're Korean.....the rip it off culture flourishes here.
• Korean women (and Japanese for that matter) seem to all dye their hair brown. ㅑ 애ㅜ'ㅅ ㅎㄷㅅ ㅑㅅ.....ㅑㅗ뎌갸ㅐㅇ
• Yikes! Switched to Korean script there... I don't know how I did it or how I turned it back.
• I don't understand why they dye their hair but they do.
• People appear to be well off and upbeat
• There are 140 branches of Starbucks in Korea
• Koreans aren't crazy about Yanks, or Japanese people but have a facination for both.
• Korean women can outdrink the men...well some of the men
• The cab ride to the airport is roughly $100
• They eat dog meat
• They smile and laugh easily.

That's it

T

Seoul

Well it all went very well....until the security woman at Northwest saw my passport at Narita airport and got a look at all of the Middle East stamps ......Can you say "Assume the position?"
I was searched 4 times from check-in to boarding...me and two black guys returning to duty in Korea...we both ended up laughing in the end as they taped the "security checked" labels to our jackets. The stupid bitch wasn't amused but we were soooooo beyond caring.
We blew her a kiss as we got on board, the only solace being the impotent rage she felt that she couldn't mess with us anymore.
The upside is I just sank 5 beers with 6 Marines (my new best friends..."Dude! look me up next time your in the states!") at my hotel with a bemused manager from Tokyo who travelled with me here......life is strange....
T

Dubai airport at 1 am

This place is like rush hour at this time of night. Flights leave and arrive around the clock. They're bent on making this place a cross roads and I guess its working. I flew here business class ( which I only do when flying long haul, and as I'm connecting to Osaka at 2:50, this qualifies)
The entertainment system had 500 channels of movies, TV and video in english, hindi, malay and a couple of other languages, I couldn't place. Everything from the Simpsons to new release movies to pass the time. There was also 400 albums of music in very genre imaginable.
I turned it on. I fiddled, I turned it off and I slept.
The coolest thing was the forward and downward cameras. You could watch the takeoff and landing from the pilots viewpoint, as the camera is situated just below the cockpit window. It is a bit unnerving actually as the runway seems to swerve in and out of view on approach. That little strip of lights just seems a bit small from a couple of thousand feet going 300 miles an hour.

My flight to Osaka is "wireless enabled"....christ no escape from work.
Its interesting how this place has changed everytime I come here. It just gets busier and busier.
Well that's it. I'm still upright, though I feel myself fading fast.
Next post from Japan.
Hope all are happy and healthy.
T

First of two posts today

I just realised that I have some really odd pictures on my computer; Images that can only be described as "airport food". I won't go back in time but will start from the last one.
Over the next couple of weeks, or longer, depending if anyone's interested, I'll treat you to an idea of what I chow down at airports around the globe . In the interests of reflecting the tastes of the places I'm visiting, I'll try and stick to what the locals are munching.
No doubt , you'll all be horrified by what strikes my fancy.
To get things started...........................

MEATLOAF @ LAX!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell was I thinking?

It looked so good on the menu, but was so foul and glutinous in real life.

Thank god for Zantac.

Pity the poor, POOR woman who had to sit next to me for those next 10 hours. I imagine she'll be relating that experience to a horrified audience for some time to come.

Later tonight I'll post some pics of Valley of Fire. Its an awesome place just 30 miles north of Vegas. I need a friend's permission to post her description of it as I really don't think I can better what she's written.

Untill then I'll be packing and worrying about a flight tomorrow as I leave for Japan bloody early in the AM.

T