Things I hate About the UK

Things I Hate/Depress me about the UK

Never being met at Heathrow airport except by a fat guy named Les or Stu, or some variation, with my name written in felt pen on a sign.
Heathrow airport
Grey, drizzly overcast weather-seems to arrive every weekend
The Royal Family
The whole “Diana was a saint” thing/industry
Public school boys
Public school girls
The parents of above
Pro hunt supporters- such a terrible shame that their way of life is threatened…..no more chasing terrified animals across fields until they’re ripped apart by baying hounds.
Animal rights protesters- Lunatics
Anti road protesters-Lunatics
Crusty travellers
The work ethic here
“Stress leave” from work- “Go ahead, take 6 months……. when you come back go on holiday for 5 weeks”
The class system- You say it’s dead, but an outsider picks up on it pretty fast. “Where did you say you were from? Wales? Funny sounds like you grew up in Knightsbridge.”
Harrods- Over priced, tacky and in Knightsbridge
Knightsbridge
Petty car crime- Don’t leave so much as a chocolate bar wrapper on your front seat or you’ll see what happens.
Estate agents-Scum
Rent in London-I know people who are 35 years old and are still sharing with 3 other people
Buying in London-How do you save for a deposit when you’re paying £1,500 a month in rent….Oh yeh, see above
Stamp duty- Just add £15K to the price of that hovel you’re going to buy
Ken Livingston
The congestion charge in London- clearing the most expensive area’s roads so that the rich bastards who live there can fire up the Bentley.
Washing machines which take 2 hours to do a load
Dryers which destroy your clothes and take 2 hours to do so.
Drying your clothes on the radiators to avoid the above….North Americans freak out when they see how “Middle Class” people dry their clothes here
Plumbing-call that a shower? It’s not nice to squat while you wash.
Trough urinals in dirty pubs- These can’t be legal?
Council tax-Always goes up and you always get less
Road tax
The TV License- A tax for what exactly?
PR’s named Pippa/India etc
“British Reserve”-translation: repressed emotional cripple
Political correctness gone mad- Councils in the UK renamed Christmas “The winter festival” this year
Knowing what the Guardian is likely to say about any issue
The lack of Father’s rights- There are none
Father’s rights protesters- Knobs dressed as comic book characters with 4 kids from three different women….ya right…. I really identify with them.
£5.12 for a pack of 20- and rising
Channel 5-watch it for 10 minutes
“Celebrity Big Brother”
Big Brother
ALL reality TV- with the exception of “cops”-Oh that’s a Yankee show.
Virgin Radio-crap, crap, crap
St Martin’s College
The Northern Line
Oxford
Slough
Reading
Birmingham
Harlow
The trains
The M25- When it’s a parking lot and you need to get somewhere
The M40- see above
The M11-see above
Heathrow
97 pence a litre…and due to go up again soon
Pitcher and Piano pubs
Firken pubs
Green man pubs
The UK version of Heineken
The UK version of Stella
The fact that Scotch is more expensive in the UK than anywhere except Japan
The fact that a barman will hand you a body temperature bottle of lager and look puzzled when you object.
£3.10 a pint
No one cleans ashtrays in bars/pubs/restaurants
Service in restaurants, bars and anywhere else you care to name
Ford fiestas
Essex
British Bull dog tattoos
England football supporters
Man United
The Conservative Party
The Lib Dems
The Labour Party
Islington
English Chinese food
British Peanut Butter
Hotels in the UK….£150 doesn’t get you much
How damn friendly and open London is
The Inland Revenue
Council flats- Living next door to someone who drives a BMW, lives on benefit and bitches about “the state of the country”