Friday Night in Frankfurt

A strange Friday night to say the least. Stranded as I am here, the evening started with very good intentions.
Terry was going to have an uneventful, room service, early to bed, night.
The food was inedible. The German Rap on the television, funny at first, became impossible to tolerate.
The endless recurring CNN loop of Bush’s visit to India finally drove me out into the snowy night in search of sanity and a decent bite to eat.
Ever notice that when German people argue, it sounds particularly angry?
" ACH! DICT!ECCHTAK DICTAK!!!!!!!"
Vaguely fascist by association to history class stereotyping and old footage of Hitler at Nuremberg.
I seemed to hear a lot of arguing everywhere I went.
Germans have always seemed controlled in demeanour to me. Liquor them up and they are as belligerent as a redneck with a bottle of bourbon in his belly.
Drunken.
That’s the only way I can describe the three bars I tried in succession.
Not nice drunken….. hammered .
Why do Germans seem to be either automated, Boss suited technocrats, or tattooed, pony-tailed, stained tee-shirt wearing heavy metal fans?
Both were out in force and both were pissed as newts.
Music…….Over and over again, songs that I thought were relegated to the bargain bin…..Europe “The Final Countdown”… ands variations of Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath etc. , with shouted out, heavily accented sing alongs to the chorus.
How the hell can they make out the words incomprehensible to me?

The women
Either tarted up biker ensembles or severe jawed accountant chic, accented by those serious square eyeglasses………
Lighten up Terry …..
Ok, back to the hotel, after 3 unfinished beers in succession, in 3 different places, I decided to have a sauna at the hotel……
Nice and quiet…right?
No cause for excitement……

Well, sitting, sweating in my bathing suit….in walk 6 people….
6 women…..naked ….laughing…..drunk.
In Germany people go to mixed saunas naked.
No one cares and it’s not thought to be in any way odd and I guess its not…but.....
I AM a BIT uptight.
They were …
how should I put this…..
“Generously endowed”.
There are women who pay 1000s of $ to be thus blessed.
Of course their banter was incomprehensible to me and my uneasy smiles in response to their increasingly pointed comments, seemed nothing if only to spur them on to more giggling silliness, culminating in a group jiggling, teetering jig to some imaginary song, that only they could hear.

Now, better men than me would have had a rather different reaction to this little episode.
James Bond type ripostes, with playboy fantasy orgies ensuing.
I sat shifting uncomfortably, and involuntarily did a rather remarkable imitation of this little guy……

Thank god for the bathing suit or six German women, in the prime of their womanhood would doubtless have had a rather less than impressed image of the red blooded Canadian male…..

As I scuttled away they called out “gooden night Mr Canada man…have good sleepy time!”

I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and see the funny side of all this

Terry