Sunday, December 30, 2007


I saw Jess this weekend... just Saturday actually.
I arrived with a trunk full of presents for my daughter from my parents and sister.
I had a bit of a quandary as to where I was going to give her the prezzies as It felt odd to sit in the car.
We ended up at a Krispy Creme Donuts of all places.
I thought it would be reasonably quiet at 9:30 on a Saturday morning.
It wasn't.
It was packed.
We sat outside on a wooden picnic table in the weak winter light of a cloudy English December day.
It all started well.
I was excited to give her the stuff and I hadn't seen her since before Christmas.
As she squealed and chirped, I had an overwhelming sense of melancholy. People walking into the store gave that all knowing glance...
"Weekend dad, FINALLY giving Christmas presents to his kid"
Except it wasn't like that.....I hated myself for caring that they looked at me and my daughter and assumed that it was something it wasn't.
Except it was a sad little tableaux right?

We went back to the car and I sat with the key in the ignition and I felt forlorn.
Forlorn .
The perfect word to describe how I felt.
Not sad, not depressed.
Just resigned I guess.

My daughter has inherited my love of reading. When I was her age I devoured books. Its amazing to see her in that same self absorbed delight.
It makes me feel good.

The New year is just around the corner and in January I'll be in the US for the most part.
I'll ring the New Year in quietly.
However you do it I hope you have fun.


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