Melancholy Sunday

I spent today with my daughter as I do most Sundays.
She was a bit out of sorts which is not unusual for a 6 year old I guess, but it feels kind of sad when I only see her once a week. As unrealistic as it is, I guess I want every day with daddy to be fun and full of laughter.
Sitting in a Burger King (I gave in to try and lift the mood), I felt a sudden stab of sadness. The place was full of weekend dads just like me, all trying to put on a brave face, surrounded by piles of toys, and colouring books stained red with ketchup.
We have an easily identifiable look. It's a smiling, tired, earnestness. We're trying our best, but feel out of our depth as our kids grow up without us. There is a deep melancholy which doesn't ever really go away and stems from feelings of guilt and loss. I drive 200 miles round trip to see her and it's not the length of the drive which is the problem, its the time it gives you to go over everything in your head for the millionth time.
It can make you feel a bit down if you over think things.

A smile from your child can blow the cobwebs away. I'm lucky because my little girl is quick to laugh and has the most open and beautiful smile you could ever imagine.

It seems that blogger has been going through a few glitches. Yesterday it published an early draft of my Frankfurt post and not the finished article. It also completely deleted a follow up. Sorry for the disjointed, unreadable collection of thoughts.
I have republished and hope it reads better now.

Till next time
Terry