Thursday, March 13, 2008

How do I feel? Well this is my 500th post and nothing seems to change.

Three hours sleep does this to me.
It seems Germany is on strike and the security at Tegel airport being public employees did their bit for worker solidarity.
At the airport at 3 AM.
Two and a half hours through security.
Herald Tribune clutched to my chest.
I got an Economist subscription for Christmas so I REFUSE to buy it as it's likely to be sliding through my letterbox.
Cheap bastard.
I have slept for a total of 4 hours in the last 35 but still went to work because of my b-berry's incessant buzzing.
There's always a crisis it seems though as large as it looms today , tomorrow it's forgotten.
I am at this minute watching "Notting Hill" on Film Four.
A floppy haired Brit gets messed up over an overrated actress and a real estate boom is the result.
I'm clearly beyond exercising any sort of critical taste .
Thank god for the democratic leveling power of a "Tesco's Finest" Chardonnay.
Sip, sip.
puff, puff.
wheeze, wheeze.
Another 20 Rothmans.
Butts flushed away and around and around they go.
Half of them float in the water.
Mocking..
You may be done with us but we're not done with you.
There will be a sad come back one day I'm sure.
I should have known better.
Stream of consciousness exhaustion.
In about an hour I'll be flat on my back, having those pre-sleep "I've won the lottery and my kid and sister's life is about to change." sort of musings.
Some things never change.
SG all will be well and you have me in your corner regardless of what happens.
Berlin was my 499th post.
500 is supposed to be a marker of some sort.
But its just another marking of time.
Dear me .
Where is all of this leading?
Nothing has changed.
And probably never will.



A picture from a post god knows how long ago in Madrid airport.

I seem to remember I was tired then and I'm tired now.
But I'm ready to go to bed and tomorrow all will seem less fraught.

Be good.

Sod that.

Be whatever version of happy works for you.

Before any of you start the barrage of "Oh Jeeze he's bummed so I need to cheer him up" emails;

Relax.

I'm good.

Love

T

2 comments:

cruxandflux said...

covered by four layers of clothes and my thickest blankie, evil fever wracking my tormented body, a smile a chuckle brief rejuvenation.. im glad you are in my life!

Far from Innocent said...

Happy 500th post! thanks for the memories!
wouldnt know where to begin with th changes of the past month, so i won't - hopefully catch up with you one of these days - you never even told me what you thought of the boy?