back to here.Miami is a quirky place and big on attitude.
I stayed at a place called "The Standard".
The name is supposed to be tongue and cheek as the hotel considers itself anything but run of the mill.
It takes itself so seriously that I was told:
" You can't take pictures of the property . We're an exclusive adult playground and what we have is something unique and special.
Our trade mark style is important and we protect it."
In the interest of not putting words in their mouth here's how the place describes itself:
The Standard Spa, Miami Beach is a holistic and hydrotherapy oriented spa hotel inspired by global bathing cultures, self-teaching and healing.
Here you can indulge in a steamy mix of health and hedonism and learn the ageless art of bathing indoors and out.
Global Bathing culture.
The hotel gives you a guide to the facilities which has a detailed map of the place and gives little descriptions of each of the areas and how you can "DIY heal yourself"
Here's an example:
Our central sculpture, The Warrior, is a fitting metaphor for the adventures you can find here if you are willing and fearless enough to let go, participate and explore.
Or my personal favorite:
Our decedent scrub room features limestone slabs and high pressure hoses. You and your "bath buddy" can scrub each other down or order one of our special rub and scrub treatments administered by our professional scrubbers.
Bath buddies and professional scrubbers. How nice.
Spa treatments had names like " Soul Temple", "Essential Healing" and "Sun Salute Circle"
So did I participate and explore?
That would be a no.
It was all a little precious and pretentious though to be fair if you ignored all that you could get a bit of chill time by the pool.
I've been to Miami a few times before and outside of the South Beach area can't really offer much comment. What's jarring is the 18% service charge added to everything from laundry to drinks at the bar. All bills have a line giving you the opportunity for "additional tips"
Is it me or is that a bit much?
Ocean Drive is a bit of a laugh and full of the gay/college student drinkers/hot babe/muscle dude posers, but it all gets a bit old pretty quickly.Still I'd recommend it for a quick weekend getaway.